It's real, people.

By the end of lunch today, my sister made an observation that made me laugh pretty hard. "The struggle is real," I heard her say. Seriously though, it's real. The struggle is really, really real.

I have pondered on this many times in the last few weeks. Motherhood is fabulous. It is all I've ever wanted (at least since I moved past my kindergarten dreams of being Madonna when I grew up), and I am happy to take the lows with the highs. But I feel like I'm living in the trenches of the struggle right now and couldn't help but laugh when someone else acknowledged that the struggle of motherhood is real.

Early this morning I woke up because Tyler was throwing up and his poor little heart was just broken. Not only that, but it looks like he picked up Macy's pink eye germs as well. So I got him cleaned up, put eye drops in his eyes, and laid down next to him until he fell back asleep because he had also been having nightmares. Peace returned to our house and we made it halfway through the morning before my little tornado, Macy, made sure to "organize" my desk drawers and then rearrange most items from the top of my desk into a beautiful mess on the floor. I was trying to get some work done on the computer, and she even managed to use her magic fingers and quick reach to operate functions on my computer that I didn't even know were possible. May I inform you that the desk rearranging happened while I was helping Tyler in the bathroom while his body was trying to decide which end was most sick.  It was terrible, but enough of that yucky stuff.

We sat down to lunch and things started getting really nutso. I pulled Macy's high chair over towards the table and it turns out the tray was only hooked onto the one side and the tray and food flipped all over the floor. A minute or so later I was reaching for something and awkwardly managed to tip a cup of water over and spill it everywhere. It was right then that Megan piped up with, "the struggle is real."  She didn't laugh and she didn't exclaim. She only said it- matter of factly and somewhat enlightened.

We all had a good laugh and I smiled at the thought of all the nonsense I endure as a mommy. I really like it. I feel blessed to be home where my kids can run amuck and stress me out on a daily basis.

Now don't you think the fun was over. Before sending both kidlets off to bed for a restful nap I hugged Tyler and we tipped right over and laughed. I was so glad to see him relax and have a little fun after feeling so yucky today. So we just laid there giggling until Macy made sure to come right over and sit on my face.

The struggle IS real.

From Where I Sit Right Now

I'm sitting here in the kitchen, in front of my computer, doing the final edits on a newborn twin session I had recently. Taking photos for people is such a blast and I was so excited to finally get a chance to photograph twins. What a dream...

But that hardly compares to everything else around me at this very second.  

Tyler is running around in his Ninja Turtle costume he got at Karter's birthday party.  The mask hasn't left his face since we got to the party before lunchtime.

Macy is walking EVERYWHERE.  Literally, she crosses back and forth through the kitchen after making a loop down the hall and through her bedroom.  Crawling is no longer cool. She usually has two or three toys/objects in hand (and sometimes her mouth) and they change every minute or two depending on what she has discovered in her travels. There's a funny trail of items around the house as she swaps one treasure for the next. It's so cute to see her embrace this new skill and leave babyish things behind. Cute, but sad.

And then there's Marshall. He blew me away yesterday with his discovery about reading.  He was choosing a show to watch on Netflix and can now read the episode titles and descriptions. So once he announced his selection he told me, "when you can read, it changes your whole life." What a beautiful truth he has come to know. I'm so proud of him and his skills.  He tries really hard to do his best academically and has a thirst for knowledge.

My kids are such a gift. I cannot believe the beautiful world that surrounds me on such an insignificant Thursday evening.

I feel like I live with Curious George.

So... the other night Colby and I are just enjoying a night at home.  Those are rare these days, plus it was a Sunday and I cannot think of a Sunday in the last 8 years that we have just stayed at home for no reason other than we didn't want to leave.  We usually really enjoy going to visit the grandparents on Sunday evenings, but this was a rare treat to just be at home just because.  I digress...

So we're at home enjoying some TV, or something, when Colby says, "Uh oh... Mommy's gonna love this," or something like that.  I stand up to find this.  Macy is all about discovering things lately and she LOVES to empty things.  It really doesn't matter what it is either.  So she managed to find a moment alone with her box of wipes and had almost every single one out around her.  Isn't she so funny...?

After sneaking a quick picture before she knew I was on to her, I jumped in front of her and asked what in the world she was doing.  This face I got in response is so classic.  "What?  I'm just doing what I'm doing.  Why are you taking pictures?"  She doesn't even act guilty!  Haha.  By this point, all of the wipes had escaped their container and were mostly all separated from each other.  I'm just glad it was an easy fix.

Lately we have had to keep the garbage can up on the counter top or shut in the pantry, keep the bathroom shut and the toilet closed, all papers that are on the fridge need to be at least 2 1/2 feet up from the floor, and I've considered buying cabinet locks even though I despise the inconvenience.  She empties her basket of toys out whenever she finds them put away, and I clean the floor of the pantry almost daily since she likes to scatter cookie cutters and bags of crackers all over the floor.  She's cute and curious and I'm trying to decide if her curiosity is harder or the same compared to the boys since she's mobile months before they were.  It's a little hard to remember, but some things feel very familiar.  Just today I told Tyler about how I remember him doing the same exact thing with the papers and magnets on the fridge.

Some day to day stuff.

It's official. School has changed my life. This is the first time I can think of that I've had to work at keeping my kids busy and happy. The first two weeks of summer vacation I was teaching swim lessons so we were gone all morning, tired so we took naps in the afternoon, then we made dinner and played in the backyard and BAM! the day was done. But not now. The days start early (for some reason school gets out and all three kids want to be up by 6:30am) and that means there's tons of time to fill. Here's a look at our day today.

Kids slept until 8. It felt weird.
I announced we were going on an adventure in our jammies. We went to a local coffee shop and had sticky buns and Italian sodas for breakfast.
We stopped at the nursery for some squash, melons, and flowers.
Got home, changed our clothes, and headed to the splash pad before it got hot.
Came home just before 11 and got dressed before our friends came over.
Emily and Erica (our bffs during swim lessons) came over to play for a while. That was a perfect time for me to deep clean the pantry.
After they went home, we went to Grandma's for a little bit. We snapped a picture of the four little boys with their summer haircuts.
Went to show choir.
Came home and watched a little Magic Schoolbus. The boys just discovered it on Netflix and it makes us all so happy.
Ate pizza.
Went to YW.
Came home and prepared for tomorrow's adventures.

Phew. That was a busy day. And it didn't feel rushed at all.

P.S. Happy seven month birthday, Macy!

Epiphany

The other day I was lying in a yoga class enjoying a small moment of peace.  The instructor was giving us some words of encouragement because we had done some challenging things in class that day.  As she was talking she mentioned that "repetition builds stability" and it really spoke to me.  I had my eyes closed as I tried to really process the concept and tears started sneaking down my cheeks!!!  It was just what I had been needing to hear all week long.

The past week I had begun to feel the pressures of the world resting heavily on my shoulders.  This was the first time I had really felt like I could relate to this idea that many other women feel overwhelmed by.  You know... "I have to be pretty.  I have to be thin.  I have to be organized.  I have to be patient.  I have to be smart.  Blah, blah, blah."  It hit me when I was in the middle of a busy morning... the dishes weren't completely done, neither was the laundry, or any other household chore.  Everything was either started or at a tolerable point in the process for me to stop and go on with the next thing I needed to do.  (These kinds of tasks are always interrupted by the needs of one or all of my children and sometimes by other important things too.  I've had a lot of photography work the last few weeks so I was now juggling that as well.)  On this chaotic morning we were running behind in our morning routine because Macy was awake during the whole thing which is rare and just slowed us down a little bit.    I didn't get Marshall's lunch made but promised I would bring it when I came to help in his class.  As the kids are piling into the van I find that the battery was dead for one reason or another so I holler for everyone to jump out so we can climb into the truck.  Those added minutes were not what I was hoping for at this point in our routine, but what do you do?  As I grab the truck keys off the shelf I realize there's a good chance I'm going to have to check Marshall into school late and I was running around in my nightgown (granny style!).  I kind of take a couple steps toward the truck then a couple steps to the house, back and forth, debating whether I should run in and change my clothes or just get in the truck and hope we make it just in the nick of time.  I decided that Marshall would surely be late if I changed so we would chance it.  The truck is pretty tall so I find myself having to lift the boys in as plenty of cars are driving past my house catching me in such a glamorous moment still looking like a crazy old nightgown lady.  Oh well.  Thankfully, we made it to school in time for Marshall to jump out and get into school before he was "late."  Phew!  But this was all just a little more chaotic than a normal morning.  On top of all this, I'm pretty sure Tyler was in a mood, but I can't remember specifics anymore.  All I remember is it wasn't even 9 in the morning and I wanted to crawl back in bed and just wake up the next day ready to be kind and patient and in control of life a little better.

My awareness of being overwhelmed really hit me about an hour later when I was at least ten minutes late to help in Marshall's class (exactly after realizing I had forgotten Marshall's lunch on the kitchen table).  As I drove I thought to myself, "I can help in my kids' school.  I can make sure my kids feel loved.  I can blog and catch up on my blog, so our life can be journaled.  I can show my YW they are important to me by being there and fulfilling my calling.  I can spend time with my husband.  I can cook meals from scratch.  I can have the kitchen, and family room, and bathrooms cleaned.  I can visit and help my neighbors that are in need.  I can wash and fold the laundry in an reasonable time frame.  I can be healthy.  I can exercise.  I can get back to my pre-baby weight.  I can improve my skills in the garden.  I can earn a little extra money by building my photography business.  I can help my clients feel beautiful and important.  I can impress them by completing their sessions much faster than I promised.  I can read and become more enlightened.  I can listen to the talks from General Conference another time to glean more from the words of God's servants.  I could do 1,000 other things that I do regularly on a daily basis.  But I cannot do it all right now.  I'm drowning in my "have to do's" and losing my mind from lack of "like to do's" and I need to slow down and prioritize."  It was helpful to acknowledge I don't have to do it all, but almost paralyzing to realize the daily routine of things I need to accomplish just to exist in peace in my home... the things the I do over and over and over again... were inching their way closer and closer to suffocating me emotionally.

And this is why I was crying in yoga.

It became so vibrantly clear that by washing those dishes every day, by keeping up with the laundry, and making beds, and scrubbing toilets, and giving haircuts, and all those other chores I do again and again, I was creating a feeling of stability for my children, my husband, and myself.  I was creating a sanctuary from the world within our home and I would be able to feel the peace inside myself that I felt was being swallowed up by these very tasks.  I resolved right then to find joy in these chores and allow the repetition to build stability.  Peace.  Joy.

I made this resolution on Friday and pretty much abandoned all of my duties in order to celebrate Marshall's birthday, shoot a wedding, and fulfill my church calling, but I figure the repetition of picking up the pieces and starting over is going to be good for me too.  So here's to doing a little better.

Ups & Downs

I'm pretty sure Pandora loves me.  Alanis Morissette's "Hands Clean",  Matchbox 20's "Push",  Tal Bachman's "She's So High", & Counting Crows' "Mr. Jones" played right in a row just now.  That was a fun little brain vacation.

Bringing me back to reality was the moment my greatest fear just became clear in my mind.  We may be done having babies by the time I have a sink in my laundry room.  I'm a little sad at the moment.  Silver lining: the bathroom and laundry room aren't more than ten steps away from each other.

P.S.  I'm fairly confident there is not a diaper in the world that can contain Macy's poop.  I'm also fairly certain that trait comes from her father.

The Good Kind of Tears

Saturday I cried a lot of useless tears.  

I cried because I woke up still pregnant.  

I cried because I sat down on the couch with my family and couldn't get comfortable.  

I cried because I had to go to the bathroom.  

Just a lot of crying over nothing.

Tonight I sit here with so much to be grateful for... and I'm grateful to have something great to shed some tears over. 

I was just sitting there, holding my sweet, new, little baby girl.  

As I held her and marveled at her innocent perfection, 

I looked up at my boys that were giggling along with their awesome daddy as they watched Madagascar 3.  

I was overwhelmed by the reality that this is my life.  

My three sweet children, my forever best friend... my whole world that I get to be blessed with forever.  I was overcome by gratitude that this is my life.  

And then I cried.  Just a little, but they were the tears I like to shed.

Halloween 2012

Happy Halloween!!!

This year Halloween has been a little different... being at the very end of a pregnancy takes all the fun out of me, I guess.  We have basic decor, the kids have begged to put up spiderwebs for weeks with only the most pathetic results, and everything is getting done at the very last second.  For example, as these photos were loading I quickly looked up the recipe for our traditional pumpkin casserole and now I'm trying to decide if I have time to make it... which I'm still at maybe.

Marshall has been excited to dress up as Frankenstein for almost a year now.  It's been a special treat for him that I told him he didn't need to have his hair cut until after Halloween so his spiky hair could be really out of control.  It's been a good month and half and he wishes I would let him grow it as long as Justin Bieber.  Sorry pal.  Not happening.

Tyler wanted to be a bat this year and wouldn't back down!  I was actually fine with that plan until I tried to find a bat costume and realized I would surely be making one.  All the ones you can buy are really dorky looking and I couldn't let him be a dorky bat.  And I surely wasn't going to waste money on one of those stupid costumes.  Our friend Max dressed as a bat last year and luckily his mom let us borrow his costume that she worked so hard to make (she's a great friend).  I ended up making him his own shirt since I didn't want to be responsible for the mess that could appear on it after wearing it to preschool and then tonight's festivities.  Good thing too because he thought it made a perfect napkin after eating all the yummy treats from school.  I made his mask too.  Which I have to fix before tonight... I'm glad I blogged these pics just now.  I would have forgotten.

I totally forgot to not procrastinate for Tyler's Halloween party on Tuesday at preschool.  I made his costume the morning of and I almost just sent a bag of candy but had REALLY wanted to make these goodie bags (found on Pinterest) and Marshall's class wasn't exchanging treats so this was my only chance.  I stayed up late the night before putting them together.  I think I'm glad I did it.  Haha.

We had our annual friends Halloween party and it was so fun.  Everyone was relieved (as far as I could tell) that Colby's trend of wearing less clothes each year did not continue.  I thought his preppy costume was hilarious.  Until seeing these pictures, I really hadn't realized how enormous I have become.  Well, maybe that's a lie.  I know I'm enormous.  I can't do anything anymore because this big belly just gets in the way!  I just don't usually have reason to just look at it.  9 months pregnant is such a good time of life.  Haha.  You'll find a picture down there of the "festive" cake I made for the occasion.  Seriously, I would love to go above and beyond with everything these days but I have to pick and choose.  Otherwise I'd self destruct and lay in a crying/sleeping heap on the couch.

Here's a picture of our Bunco group at Nikki's house earlier this month.  

It was a costume required witches night and it was SO fun!  

I wore this outfit again last night at Young Womens when we went "Reverse Trick or Treating" and gave out treats to random families in our ward.

I started this months ago...

1. What time did you get up this morning? Well, a few times between about 2:30-4 (literally, out of bed...), but for real at 7:30.

2. How do you like your steak? medium 

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema: The Odd Life of Timothy Green.  I totally loved it.

4. What is your favorite TV show? Of all time, Friends.  Lately... most anything on the The Food Network and Modern Family.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Somewhere on a beach... with all of our family somewhat near by.

6. What did you have for breakfast? A bite of the kids' oatmeal and toast w/ jam.

7. What is your favorite food? spaghetti

8. Foods you dislike? mushrooms, fatty foods, bad mexican or chinese

9. Favorite place to eat? I really like Oscars.

10. Favorite dressing? Any simple vinaigrette.

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? Our "new to us" minvan.  Just got it a week ago.

12. What are your favorite clothes? Something colorful, feminine, but comfortable.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? The mediterranean; Greece & Italy for the food!

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? 1/2 full!!

15. Where would you want to retire? Somewhere pretty.  It could be mountains, farm like, beach... it just has to be pretty.  And somewhere I could garden.

16. Favorite time of day? Evening, when everyone is just hanging out with nothing we have to do.

17. Where were you born? Salt Lake City.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Baseball.

19. What is your favorite fragrance? I like a good citrusy smell or something really rich like apple cinnamon or any other wintery smell full of nutmeg/cinnamon.

20. What is your favorite face cream? I haven't found one I love yet.

21. Favorite baby/kids products? Aden & Anais blankets, hands down.

22. People watcher? Definitely

23. Are you a morning or night person? Night.  I wish "day person" was an option.  Lately I struggle being awake ever.

24. Do you have any pets? Two kids and a husband :)

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? We think our baby's name will be one of three names... beginning with M, M, or C.

26. What did you want to be when you were little? In kindergarten I wanted to be Madonna.  But ever since I had any real awareness of what I wanted to be, it was a mom.

27. What is your favorite memory? The first time I met Colby is a good one, or any other time I get to watch Colby being "Dad."

28. Are you a cat or dog person? I'm good with either.  As long as they don't lick my face or chew up my stuff.  So maybe either I'm a cat person or a really perfect dog person.

29. Are you married? yes :)

30. Always wear your seat belt? Only when the kids remind me.  (I'm so bad!)

31. Been in a car accident? Yes; minor, my fault, on my 18th bday, pretty much the worst day of my life :(

32. Any pet peeves? cupboard doors left open
Also, when someone asks my for my help/opinion then completely disregards it.

33. Favorite pizza toppings? pepperoni

34. Favorite flower? I'm a big lover of flowers, but I absolutely love big double peonies, tulips, dahlias, and Texas bluebells.

35. Favorite ice cream? ROCKY ROAD

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? I like "not quite fast food", but anything from a restaurant is great :)  If I had to choose, probably Subway or Jimmy Johns.

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? none

38. From whom did you get your last email? Shelly Thomas, just barely.

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? TJ Maxx, H & M, J. Crew or Pottery Barn.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? I can't remember... which is sad because I basically live on spontaneity.  I did some online shopping that I really wasn't going to do... (how lame.)

41. Like your job? When I think of my two jobs (being a mom and being a photographer) I mostly like all that I do.  But when people get difficult, I wonder why I do it sometimes.

42. Broccoli? We all love broccoli at our house.

43. What was your favorite vacation? I love vacations in general.  San Francisco was probably my fave.  But Austin was fun and Maui (both times) have to be on the list.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? It's been far too long... my kids, I think.

45. What are you listening to right now? "He Is We" playlist on Pandora.

46. What is your favorite color? Pink.  But NOT baby pink or a super sweet raspberry pink.  A good vibrant coraly pink or peachy pink makes me smile.

47. How many tattoos do you have? none

48. Coffee drinker? Yuck!

.24 weeks along.

Here's a shot of my belly at 24 weeks.  

Colby was sneaky and caught it while we were watching the sunset our last night on Maui.  I love it.  

I love Colby too.  :)

This pregnancy has been a night and day difference from the last two... and not in a good way.  It must be "a girl thing."  I don't want to complain, but I do want to admit that after especially hard moments I can't help but feel an even greater bond and love for this little baby girl that is coming to our family.  It probably sounds strange, any time I've admitted it I figure people must think I'm crazy, but I truly fall more and more in love with her as I struggle through the hard times.  Until this week I've been extremely skeptical of the comments I hear from friends and neighbors about girls just being different and bringing a different feel to everything around.  I'm starting to understand it a little bit though as I grow through my current experience and notice a different kind of love developing.  As any mother would tell you, it is not greater than I have for my other kids, it's just different.  I've actually struggled a lot with feeling like there's no way I can love my little girl like I love my boys.  It took a couple weeks for me to even have any kind of reaction to the news of having a girl.  I wasn't disappointed and I wasn't elated.  I was just processing the reality of it.  It was one of the strangest things I have ever felt.  It slowly turned into a realization that we really would be having a daughter, but a lot of worry about how things will be different trying to raise a girl in this crazy world.  I think most of the anxieties have worn off and I'm really getting excited for it.  Now if only I can decide on a name... apparently it is in my hands because Colby feels settled on the decision, but I can't settle on anything.

Now purely for documenting purposes, here are some things that have set this pregnancy apart:

• acid reflux (yuck!)
• nausea and such that comes and goes depending on the day... it definitely has not gone away.
• all I want to eat is processed food (double yuck!)*
• I've been dedicated to my exercise routine up until I was 20 weeks (teaching swim lessons and our trip to Hawaii interrupted my 3 days a week at the gym), even through the yucky stuff, but can't seem to do much of anything anymore.  I have some of the most bizarre aches and pains which all seem to be attributed to the fact that my body is not handling this third pregnancy as gracefully.
• I'm going to name this next "problem" my attitude problem.  Honestly, it's a big deal and I won't deny it.  With the boys I had mood swings.  This time I have a long term mood disorder.  Haha.
• I cry all the time.  I don't remember ever crying like this.
• I have noticed swelling in my feet/ankles since I was 17 weeks.  At first it was only after extended periods of time outside in the heat, but now it is almost constant.  Darn summer!
• I promise I have never felt this squished and squashed from my growing belly.  Some days it's all up high and I feel like I can hardly breathe, and some days it's all down low and I have to pee every 3 minutes.
• I'm measuring bigger than my due date.  I always measured a little smaller with the boys.  I have been assured I am not giving birth to a gigantic gargoyle, although Colby once swore I was.  Love him!
• I get to avoid foods like milk, yogurt, ice cream, oatmeal, citrus fruits, tomatoes, onions, garlic, and almost every other food on the earth.  I sure love acid reflux.  Not!

I've been meaning to document this too, but have yet to do so... at 9 weeks I stepped on the scale and saw the first weight loss I've had in a year and a half and it's not like I never tried.  I trained for and ran a marathon as well as worked out at the gym usually 5 hours per week... hard to intense workouts too.  Isn't pregnancy so special?  Again, I don't mean to sound like a whiner, I just wanted to write this all down so I don't forget and can reference it during future pregnancies.  I have it so much better than most people and I've always felt this was all worth it, no question!

Even though I remind Colby on nearly a daily basis that I cannot fathom how my stomach can get much larger since I already feel stretched to the max, I am looking forward to the next 15 weeks or so and all the fun that is ahead of us.


*Foods I've been craving: At first all I wanted to eat was bread with cheese and pizza.  That quickly turned into ham & cheese Hot Pockets, canned soup, and chips... all day, every day.  At around 14 weeks I would do just about anything to get my hands on Dr. Pepper and popcorn.  Until this time, I've had a real problem with both of those foods.  I've never ever liked them and then suddenly that's all I wanted to eat.  Weird.  Then it was frozen Capri Suns.  (If you've never had them that way, you have to run to the store right now.  Put your Capri Suns in the freezer and once they're solid, just cut the top off and scoop out with a spoon.  Yum.)  Now that's morphed into a need to eat Taco Bell all the time (heaven help me).  I had a week or two that I just wanted to eat ice cream, even though dairy aggravates my heart burn to the point of extreme nausea.  I think in one week I downed a carton of Rocky Road... my favorite.  My latest thing is Eggo Waffles.  I finally broke down and bought some on Saturday and am just hoping the box lasts until Tuesday morning.  Haha.  All this junk is so disturbing to me.  I am pretty against processed food, so I'm just hoping I can block out the memory (and effects) of my latest "diet."

Little Treasures

 Last month, I was driving around with my cousin Kassara looking for a location to take the Snow Canyon High School drill team photos.  We were looking for something grungy and harsh... and this cool little place was near Kassara's house.  I'm so glad she was helping me out!  I just love her.  Anyway... I thought this little bit of graffiti was kind of cool.  (I'm actually just waiting for someone to inform me of how terrible that little bit on the top is or something, but since I'm naive, I think it looked cool.)

This was another little gem of a place we found.  (Thanks again, K!)

Aren't those two kiddle-ee-didlets cute?!  I love 'em.

Last night Marshall told me, "You always work so hard.  We always make you."  It was a sweet little acknowledgment of something that is pretty true.  It made me smile, and I told him thank you.

I like it when this one strokes my hair and says, "I love your hair, Mom."  

It is just sweeter than the usual, "pretty" that is sometimes uttered in amazement.  :)

Life is good, my friends.  Life is good.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

What's wrong with this picture?

Yes... that is some clothing he is holding...

...and he doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong 

with removing the clothes from your lower half while playing at the park.  

What a little goober.

(He thought he was so funny.)

All Good Things

The good things from today so far:

1.   Starting the day with a 60 minute massage.  Ahhhh...

2.   Followed that up with a chiropractic adjustment.  Again, ahhhh...

3.   Stopped at the Dr.'s office and he assured me that the bug bite on my left bicep (which has a giant patch of       red around it... like my whole bicep) is nothing to be too worried about.  A little anti-histamine ought to get           my arm looking normal again.

4.   Got some kale so I can keep making my green lemonade that I love so much.  Gonna have some for a PM        snack.

5.   The one and only semi-soft avocado I found at the store which made my lunch oh so yummy.

It's a Tom & Ava sandwich (found in last month's issue of Taste of Home magazine).  

Avocado, tomato, red onion & sprouts.  Yum.  I had two.

6.   Tzatziki sauce from Costco that made above sandwich just a little better.  (I substituted tzatziki for the
       suggested cream cheese.)

7.   The carrot I pulled from my garden just barely that was almost a foot long and so pretty and straight.

8.   Speaking of the garden, how about the fact that it isn't all dead by now and we are getting so many yummy         tomatoes from it.  Just planted some various lettuce and will soon be planting a fall crop of beans.

9.   7:30 tonight we get to hang out with a handful of our best friends.  Should be fun, even if we are just
       finalizing plans for a class reunion.

10.  The second half of the September issue of House Beautiful that is calling my name.

Hope you're having a lovely day as well.

The Good Parts of Today

Marshall saying "Holy Gamorsha!"  (What the heck?!?!  Where does he come up with this stuff?)

Tyler happily playing with puzzles while I made dinner.  At that same time Marshall was kicking back (literally) in his newly finished sandbox, happy as could be.

I took a nap.

The two minutes of the entire day that Tyler was genuinely happy.  Right after his nap...  :)

I got started in my garden.  I plowed my watering furrows with a pioneer era hand plow (thanks Gma & Gpa) and got fertilizer in.  In this case, the more primitive the tool the more efficient the work.

My baby sis came over.

I got to talk to Colby more than once in a 24 hour period.  More than once in a five hour period even.

Missing Pieces

There have been a few moments that should have been blogged but have been missed for whatever reason.  I'll fill you in a little bit now.  Pictures will be described left to right, top to bottom.

                                                        

 1) This is the way the boys survived day 2 of the State swim meet.  Laying under the bench dreaming of being somewhere else.  Both of them are awake in this picture.  And they stayed awake the entire time.  2) Ty's been feeling a little under the weather lately with a yucky cough, but has been dealing with it like a champ.  3) This is my effort to enjoy the things the kids do when they're small.  I think there will come a day I won't be finding their dusty footprints on the table anymore.  4) The young one front and center in demo mode of our remodel project.  5) More of the remodel.  We tore the wall out that divided our family room from the kitchen and are replacing it with something really cool.  I'll share more when its finished.  Haha.  6) I made these humongous towels for both Jon and Meg for the State swim meet.  They are huge and cozy and I think I'd honestly use it as a heavy, warm blanket instead of a towel...  7) Jon & Meg being pals at State.  It was fun to go up and watch them.  Jon came home with two gold medals, a silver and a bronze.  (I can't believe its his senior year!)  He swam so well!  It was great to watch him be such a calm and genuinely sportsmanlike athlete.  Megan did great too!  She scored points in each of her events which helped the girls team take 4th.  The boys team took 2nd.  Desert Hills HS boys and girls had a combined score that would have taken state by a landslide if they gave out that award.  They should give out that award.

I have more old stuff to document (in a sneaky, back-dated kind of way), but that will have to wait because I have some gorgeous bridals that desperately need my attention ASAP.  Hopefully after that I'll get some stuff crossed off my To Blog list.

Extreme(ly crazy wife)

I'm a mean wife.  I'm far too selfish for Colby's well being.  And he will rue the day I had a bunch of gal pals over while he wasn't here.  I am further justified in our latest battle of wills.  :)

Let's start with a few weeks ago.  He has decided he wants to put in a fireplace.  He has it all figured out that it will go in the corner of our living room and figures it will be just perfect!  (Enter the crazy wife...)  I think it would be fun to have a fireplace.  I'm not quite sure where it will fit exactly, but if we can find a new home for some of our furniture, we could make it look really nice in the middle of the main wall of our living room.  And that would put us over the edge of our need for a flat screen TV.  Won't Colby be thrilled?!  Nope.  Notice he was thinking corner and I was thinking middle of the wall.  So the debate ensues and wouldn't you know it?  He doesn't want a fireplace at all.  He wants a wood burning stove.  Bah!  Not happening.  I agreed to fireplace.  With a gorgeous, stylish, timeless mantle.  Isn't that what we were talking about anyway?  A fireplace?  Yeah, that's what I thought.

So our debate continued with demands of a corner "stove" versus a centered "fireplace."  And then it hit me.  A stove in the corner would mean a lot more than a hearth and stove installation.  It would knock off the whole groove of our main living space which would mean a vast remodel including but not limited to relocating the window (which means a door also), getting rid of a couch and taking down the curtains.  And we will not be taking down those curtains.

You see, I love home decor.  It is one of my interests that I am a little too passionate about.  So much so that it has prevented me from decorating.  Whatever I can find around "these parts" is nowhere near the awesome vision I have for representing my personal style.  And we can't forget that our checking account could never recoup.  So I have a total of three elements of decor in my home.  A shower curtain I made in the main bath, some shelves I paid too much money for (according to Colby) and my living room curtains.  I had a vision for these curtains and couldn't find anything to satisfy my creative appetite until I walked passed some bedding in TJ Maxx.  That duvet cover was perfectly what I wanted my curtains to be.  And so I brought it home, chopped it up and made myself some curtains!  They are the only real representation of me in our whole house.  And they will not be removed.  I promised Colby if they had to leave, then he'd have to donate an unlimited amount of money to a total overhaul of our house until I was completely satisfied with the statement it made about the family that lived in it.

So it comes to this.  Fireplace = Extreme Home Makeover.  I think the answer is clear.  And tonight it was made even clearer.  Some gals were admiring my home made curtains and I overheard the comment, "...they're so Pottery Barn..."  Well there you go.  I can't get rid of them now.  I made them and they speak that timeless, classic, stylish language of Pottery Barn.  We would have had to pay well over $100 for just one panel of these curtains had I not made them with my own two hands.  How could I ever betray myself and just take them down for that sake of a wood burning stove.  I just couldn't.  Sorry babe.  The girls convinced me.

Featuring AGGRESSIVE from "The Passive-Aggressive Mother"

It's been a weird day.  Both of my boys took naps THIS MORNING, at the SAME TIME.  That is so rare.  So I wasted a ton of time trying to figure out something really productive I could do and settled on 1) making cookies & 2) sweep and mop the floors.  Then this afternoon we got a short but giant rain storm.  It was pouring buckets for just 10-20 minutes and then it cleared right up.  I had to run a couple of errands but we waited until the rain had died down.  We drove past a group of kids tubing down the gutter.  No joke!  I wish I had my camera.  The gutter was WAY full and it was out into the street almost 10 feet and the kids were just playing with their inner tubes.  I tried to get out there and live it up like a kid, but Marshall said he'd rather stay inside than go jump in puddles.  Darn.  I guess I'll convince him next time.  You'd think this would make for a heavenly day.  I thought so too.  But the last couple hours have been a jumble of weird emotions that only find their way out every once in a while.

Well, we got home and I decided we better check out the damages to my humble garden that consists of spaghetti squash, serrano peppers and tomatoes.  I have three pepper plants, but only one has produced any fruit and its been tiny.  Well, I noticed that the producing plant looked like the rain knocked all of the leaves off and then I saw them.

These three giant caterpillars ate all the leaves off my ONLY PRODUCING PLANT!  My voice was on the verge of screaming as I was calling them "stupid bugs" and telling them they are not welcome in my garden.  Apparently my suffering garden broke this camel's back.  I was so furious.  I exclaimed, "I'm gonna go inside and get my camera so I can take a picture of the little jerks!"  Marshall thought they were really interesting creatures but also didn't like that they had eaten the plants we've worked so hard on.  

Then I looked over to my squash and saw the critters I'd been suspecting for a couple weeks now...

SQUASH BUGS!

They're kinda hard to see, but a small fraction of them were clustered on that dead leaf.  I started cutting off all the leaves they were camping out on (to avoid the "torrential flooding" of the garden) and set them on the cement.  Then I realized I didn't want to squash all the bugs with my shoes, so I grabbed a shovel and let them have it.  Soon I can hear my dear oldest child,
"We are killing all these freakin' little jerks!"
  And then I turn around to find Tyler behind me with his own little shovel smashing what's left of all the little garden eaters.  

So here I sit, confessing my wrong doings.  I taught my son those naughty little words.  And I'm sorry.  Especially if he ever utters them in your presence.

It has begun...

Last night marked the beginning of the
"constant questioning of Mom."

Why do we have to get out of the truck? Why do you have to make dinner? Why are you hungry? Why have you not eaten in a long time? Why has it been a lot of hours since lunch? Why is it getting dark? Why is the sun going down? Why, why, why...? He was cracking me up. Usually this would be annoying, but since it was the first time I just couldn't get over how adorable it was.

I didn't realize he had caught on to this kind of playing around. I don't think I'm clueless, but it seems like most of the time he will surprise me with something I didn't realize he had learned about. I tried not to let him see me laugh because I don't exactly want to encourage this habit.

Something else he's been doing that makes me laugh: When we pray he doesn't fold his arms the way we "traditionally" do it. He'll have one arm just right and then the other will be reaching up to the sky (or at least towards his face) or pointing down, or crossing his body in some weird way and he'll ask me, "Do we do it like this?" Then I'll answer with, "No. It's like this." (and fold my arms appropriately) He'll just return with "How about THIS?" And THIS is just a stranger version of the first rendition of folding his arms. Marshall is quite the little tease... and he still has a lot of it to grow into.

Infectious

This little man has been missing out on the love on this blog lately. I was looking over it and it would almost seem I didn't have a 3 year old that made every day the funnest day ever.
He is a giant helper. A couple days ago he helped me sweep and mop. He is the official bug thrower-awayer. He even ties my shoes. Check out this knot. There's no way I'd be losing my shoe if I let him do this when I was wearing them.
He's always cracking me up. He has an infectious enthusiasm for EVERY thing. "Look Mom! That is a huge, weird bug." "Mom! Look! My body has bones!" "This next weeky (weekend) we will go 'or-wheelin' and go down the huge mountains and go really, really faster!" "Mom! I missed you!" (which is the same whether I've been gone 20 minutes or 5 hours) "We are 'drowing (growing) ummadeez (some of these) and ummadeez. They will be tomatoes and peppers. And we will use them to make salsa."
He loves to play and loves to pester his brother. He is sooooo in need of someone he can just wrestle and play tough with. I feel like every other time I open my mouth I'm saying something like, "don't crash people," "please don't smash him," or "when he cries, that means he doesn't like that. If you make him cry one more time you'll be going to the time-out chair."
It looks like he's a nice brother, you say? Well, this is a little more than just a kind, helping hand. He is rushing Tyler along... not exactly wanting to push him down... just sharing some of this enthusiasm for the slides they had been playing on.

But he really is a doll. He's such a sweetie and always telling us "I love you!" He got to start swimming lessons with me this last week. I was really worried about it the last few weeks that I'd really want to teach him, but that having me be his teacher wouldn't really work. But once I realized my beginner class was the best behaved group of 3 and 4 year olds, I knew I had to get Marshall in that kind of class situation so he could see how he really should behave. He loves it. He's still pretty timid, but he thinks its cool to practice his Superman and Rocketships and loves to go on train adventures around the edge of the pool. I'm so proud of him for being a good sport even though we take him out of his comfort zone. He puts his face in the water like a champ.

While I've been teaching he's spent his mornings at Miss Heidi's house playing and playing and playing. I was SUPER worried that poor Heidi would throw in the towel after the first day because Marshall can be kinda stubborn and doesn't always like strangers to help him. But Monday was the best day Marshall has ever had in his entire life. I'm not kidding you. He was polite and patient and sweet the whole rest of the day. I truly was expecting him to act out wishing for more attention from me after I was gone from him all morning. But then again, he never ceases to amaze me. And infect me. With his sweetness and fun.

I love you Marshall Boy.

"Pepper on... trees." Good times :)

Oh man!

So, the other day I was discussing multi-tasking with another busy mommy. We had both read/heard something to the effect that multi-tasking is counter-productive/ineffective. We were laughing about the fact that though it may be true, its the only way we get anything done. Well, I must have needed to learn a lesson about slowing down.

I was doing bills this afternoon and had some tasks to take care of once I was finished. I got the boys in the truck to head to the city office, post office, then grocery store. Once on the road, I called the bank to sort out a confusing deposit situation and headed to drop off my utility bill. Once I dropped it in the box, I went to the post office to drop my mortgage payment in the mail. As I reached out to the drop box I realized I was about to put my payment to the city into the mail box. Then I realized I had just dropped off my house payment at the city office payment drop box. Whoops.

So I headed back to pay my bill and kindly asked the city employee to please empty their drop box so I could get my mail out of it. She was happy to help and I was on my way. Only to miss the post office's closing time by minutes... about the time it took me to run around and fix my little mistake. Dang it!

I guess I'll think twice before I start and complete multiple tasks at once. Who knows if I'll really convert to being a believer though. That's a huge commitment.