Thursday, December 8, 2011

So Real.

Sometimes I suffer from anxiety.  I get a tightness in my chest that makes me feel like I can't completely breathe and my stomach gets all yucky feeling.  Like I'm going to toss my cookies if I don't get some good deep breaths.  I started noticing in within the last year I think and it was usually during stressful moments.  Notice I said moments.  Like the end of a nail biting soccer/basketball game or when I am oh so close to winning a prize at Bunco.  (Yes... I know... I have real problems.)

Well, in the last few months I've noticed it progress to actual moments of stress, and I think I've identified a few triggers.  For me it is not worrying about the future, or whether my kids or I will be safe at any given moment.  It is not when I am busier than busy.  And it is not when I feel like I am spiraling out of control (as I'm sure all of us mothers do from time to time).  For me it all seems to be related to one or more of these three things:

  • Being asked to do something that seems clearly impossible.
  • Worrying about money.
  • The risk of a confrontation.
It is so weird to me because things I could completely understand others getting anxious over (you know... like real problems) don't always phase me.  I have a fairly carefree attitude and I can go with just about any flow.  Unless it's a stupid one.  Stupid people just bug.  I'm beginning to realize I am not the only one that has these feelings and I'm wondering if there is some magic spell to help alleviate these attacks.  Like a nap, or some ice cream, or a good fit of laughter.

Anyway... I'm beginning to feel like a big whiner, but that's not what I'm trying to do at all.  I'm just keeping it real.  And reaching out to anyone that needs to know I feel their pain -or their chest tightening, tummy twisting symptoms.


  1. hope you feel better! risk of confrontation is a big trigger for me too...

  2. Too many children under five for too long does it to me, too. I bet you feel better now the Ward Party of Awesomeness is over. :)