Macy's Blessing

My dear Macy girl,

Yesterday was your blessing day.  Daddy gave you a beautiful blessing.  It was so tender and like nothing I've ever heard.  It's clear he loves you oh, so much.  We all do.  The spirit was incredibly strong and I have no doubt you are a precious gift from heaven.  

He blessed you with modesty, which is so much more than what you wear.  It's the way you think, talk, behave... it is what will make you stand out from the filth of the world and be something truly special.  It will give you strength and value as an individual and disciple of our Savior.

He blessed you to have love and kindness.  The kind that will help those around you feel special and cherished.  He also blessed you to be happy and cheerful and to always find the peace in situations and to be a peacemaker.

He blessed you to have a strong relationship with your Heavenly Father that will help you to make good choices and stand for the right in times that are hard.  We know you will encounter many "hard" times throughout your life.  The world is a beautiful place but has a lot of scary and dangerous possibilities.  That's why you need to be ready to stand for the right, no matter what.  

You were also blessed to go to the temple.  That you could find a friend to be your eternal companion and have a family.  The temple is the key to keeping the joy and happiness that family brings.  You can have that blessing forever if the temple is the place you root your family.  We, as your parents, want this more for you than we can express.  Our family is our greatest possession and we are so blessed to have the chance to keep you all with us forever.  It will take a lot of work, for all of us, to keep such a lasting bond, and we are ready to help you do so in any way we can.

You are such a blessing to us.  We love you.

With all my heart,

Mommy

.24 weeks along.

Here's a shot of my belly at 24 weeks.  

Colby was sneaky and caught it while we were watching the sunset our last night on Maui.  I love it.  

I love Colby too.  :)

This pregnancy has been a night and day difference from the last two... and not in a good way.  It must be "a girl thing."  I don't want to complain, but I do want to admit that after especially hard moments I can't help but feel an even greater bond and love for this little baby girl that is coming to our family.  It probably sounds strange, any time I've admitted it I figure people must think I'm crazy, but I truly fall more and more in love with her as I struggle through the hard times.  Until this week I've been extremely skeptical of the comments I hear from friends and neighbors about girls just being different and bringing a different feel to everything around.  I'm starting to understand it a little bit though as I grow through my current experience and notice a different kind of love developing.  As any mother would tell you, it is not greater than I have for my other kids, it's just different.  I've actually struggled a lot with feeling like there's no way I can love my little girl like I love my boys.  It took a couple weeks for me to even have any kind of reaction to the news of having a girl.  I wasn't disappointed and I wasn't elated.  I was just processing the reality of it.  It was one of the strangest things I have ever felt.  It slowly turned into a realization that we really would be having a daughter, but a lot of worry about how things will be different trying to raise a girl in this crazy world.  I think most of the anxieties have worn off and I'm really getting excited for it.  Now if only I can decide on a name... apparently it is in my hands because Colby feels settled on the decision, but I can't settle on anything.

Now purely for documenting purposes, here are some things that have set this pregnancy apart:

• acid reflux (yuck!)
• nausea and such that comes and goes depending on the day... it definitely has not gone away.
• all I want to eat is processed food (double yuck!)*
• I've been dedicated to my exercise routine up until I was 20 weeks (teaching swim lessons and our trip to Hawaii interrupted my 3 days a week at the gym), even through the yucky stuff, but can't seem to do much of anything anymore.  I have some of the most bizarre aches and pains which all seem to be attributed to the fact that my body is not handling this third pregnancy as gracefully.
• I'm going to name this next "problem" my attitude problem.  Honestly, it's a big deal and I won't deny it.  With the boys I had mood swings.  This time I have a long term mood disorder.  Haha.
• I cry all the time.  I don't remember ever crying like this.
• I have noticed swelling in my feet/ankles since I was 17 weeks.  At first it was only after extended periods of time outside in the heat, but now it is almost constant.  Darn summer!
• I promise I have never felt this squished and squashed from my growing belly.  Some days it's all up high and I feel like I can hardly breathe, and some days it's all down low and I have to pee every 3 minutes.
• I'm measuring bigger than my due date.  I always measured a little smaller with the boys.  I have been assured I am not giving birth to a gigantic gargoyle, although Colby once swore I was.  Love him!
• I get to avoid foods like milk, yogurt, ice cream, oatmeal, citrus fruits, tomatoes, onions, garlic, and almost every other food on the earth.  I sure love acid reflux.  Not!

I've been meaning to document this too, but have yet to do so... at 9 weeks I stepped on the scale and saw the first weight loss I've had in a year and a half and it's not like I never tried.  I trained for and ran a marathon as well as worked out at the gym usually 5 hours per week... hard to intense workouts too.  Isn't pregnancy so special?  Again, I don't mean to sound like a whiner, I just wanted to write this all down so I don't forget and can reference it during future pregnancies.  I have it so much better than most people and I've always felt this was all worth it, no question!

Even though I remind Colby on nearly a daily basis that I cannot fathom how my stomach can get much larger since I already feel stretched to the max, I am looking forward to the next 15 weeks or so and all the fun that is ahead of us.


*Foods I've been craving: At first all I wanted to eat was bread with cheese and pizza.  That quickly turned into ham & cheese Hot Pockets, canned soup, and chips... all day, every day.  At around 14 weeks I would do just about anything to get my hands on Dr. Pepper and popcorn.  Until this time, I've had a real problem with both of those foods.  I've never ever liked them and then suddenly that's all I wanted to eat.  Weird.  Then it was frozen Capri Suns.  (If you've never had them that way, you have to run to the store right now.  Put your Capri Suns in the freezer and once they're solid, just cut the top off and scoop out with a spoon.  Yum.)  Now that's morphed into a need to eat Taco Bell all the time (heaven help me).  I had a week or two that I just wanted to eat ice cream, even though dairy aggravates my heart burn to the point of extreme nausea.  I think in one week I downed a carton of Rocky Road... my favorite.  My latest thing is Eggo Waffles.  I finally broke down and bought some on Saturday and am just hoping the box lasts until Tuesday morning.  Haha.  All this junk is so disturbing to me.  I am pretty against processed food, so I'm just hoping I can block out the memory (and effects) of my latest "diet."

Happy birthday, Tyler!

It is kind of unreal that Tyler is three!  He's the cutest little trouble maker there ever was.  It's his cuteness that keeps him out of a lot of trouble, really.  He is all about pushing limits and testing patience.  I guess this sounds like I'm complaining, which I'm not, I'm just writing it down so that hopefully someday I'll enjoy the reminder of what it was like when Tyler was a naughty little bugger.  Either that, or when he's a teenager and I'm on medication in order to survive those years, I can look back and laugh at how funny it used to be.  Haha.  I love this kid.

The most recent pics I have of just him are from my phone, so you really get to see this goofy kid in action.

I love to see how he is definitely an individual.  He gets along really well with his brother, but is still very different from him.  Tyler is such a home-body and really enjoys spending time inside rather than outside.  It usually only takes between 5-15 minutes before he is asking if we can go home yet... no matter where we are or where we are headed.  I think it's kind of cute.  He also is always disappearing when we're playing in the backyard.  He never disappears down the street or into a neighbors yard... he's always finding his way back into the house.  He'd much rather be hanging out inside regardless of the weather.  It's also really cool though, that as much as he would like to be at home and inside, he is still very social and loves being with other kids.

Some things that stick out to me about Tyler lately:

He loves whenever something can turn into a competition.  He's constantly yelling, "I won!" or "You can't beat me!"

Tyler's favorite food is still cereal, Frosted Flakes to be exact.  And he does NOT like to eat bread with stuff.  So sandwiches & hot dogs are always eaten "deconstructed."  He does like bread alone, like toast and such, but you better not put butter on it.  It's always jam toast NO butter.

He is the world's best backseat driver.  He's constantly pointing out what color the stop lights are and doesn't hesitate to inform us the second it changes.  The best is when we are a few cars back in a line stopped at a red light.  Once the light turns green he yells and yells at us to get going because it's now green!  Another funny thing he's still learning about is left hand turns.  Our light will be green so I start my turn and by the time I am through the intersection he's yelling at me that the light was really red and that I needed to stop (of course it's because he eventually notices the red light for the opposite direction of traffic that is indeed stopped).

He likes to ask questions about his surroundings; "Are we driving in the truck?" "Are we going on a big road?" "Are we going to the gym?  ... Not again!"

He has quite the skill of noticing the "Recycle" emblem that is on all kinds of things.  Every time he will ask, "What is this, Mom?"  Every time.

He's very good at pointing out when he is on his best behavior when the kids around him are not.

He is obsessed with the number 4 and the letters T and O.  He's really good at drawing T's (he got ahold of one of Daddy's Sharpie markers that was left in the yard and wrote his signature T all over our new cement and the garden cement) and is sure O goes at the end of his name.  Who knows how long it will take to convince him that is not the case.

I've noticed just lately that Tyler has an awareness of girlfriends.  I'm not sure if he's heard enough "older talk" and knows that boys love girls and it's a kind of special thing, or if he really just puts the two together and the girl that is his friend is his girlfriend.  It happened first when my young women from church had been over and one of them helped him with something.  He told me later that his girlfriend helped him with whatever it was and I was able to pin point the specific girl he was talking about.  Then the other day a girl at the gym was giving him a lot of attention and he referred to her as his girlfriend when we left.  Then just today he looked outside and saw a five year old girl (one of Marshall's friends) that was being babysat by our neighbor.  He jumped up and said, "Someone is here again!  My girlfriend!  My girlfriend is here!!!"  Like I said... who knows what he actually means by it, but it's kind of cute.

He likes to switch things up in order to make them funny.  He's always telling us rules are really the opposite (red light means go and green means stop) and things like that.  He also gets such a kick out of changing words to rhyme but sound ridiculous and nothing like the real thing.

His favorite shows to watch on Netflix are The Backyardigans, Dora, Diego, Wonder Pets, Super Why, and the Leapfrog Alphabet and Phonics videos.  Pretty much anything but Curious George (Marshall's TV show of choice).  

Disclaimer* these are all "educational" shows because the boys had "fighting movie" privileges taken away a while ago due to some aggressive behavior that we could not get a handle on.  It's been going on a few months now with only a few rare opportunities to watch the regular favorite Disney movies and such (how obnoxious that even Tangled, Toy Story, and Cars have so much fighting in them).  I have really enjoyed the change in material they are absorbing.  Also, the kids have had a lot more TV time since I got pregnant and SICK... can't wait for that to go away :)

Love you big time, Tyler Boy!  You're super cute and super fun to have in our family!

Picture On Our New Grass

Loving Life

Marshall, Karter, Brady, Brigham, & Tyler

I love this small town where we live.  

I love that Great Gma & Gpa live only a couple blocks from Gma & Gpa so the boys could travel in style.
I love that my kids get to enjoy some of the things I did when I was a child, even though modern codes of conduct and societal acceptance would generally say otherwise... all thanks to our special small town.  

I love the adventurous spirits these kids have and how simple things can get them so excited.  

I love family time.  

I love my boys.  

I love this wonderful life we have.

I love my kids.

I am so lucky.  I had a bunch of leftover fruit that had been cut up for Bunco on Wednesday.  It was starting to get a little old so I decided to whip together my first green smoothie.  I've been a lover of green lemonade since summer, but that's just juice.  And it has lemon in in which makes most things yummy.   So today I got the guts to throw a banana in the blender with some pears, strawberries, a little mango, and a ton of spinach.   I added a little water to get the consistency right and guess what?  It was good!  So good that my kids drank it down so fast and Tyler (who doesn't eat ANYTHING unless he "loves it") was begging for more.  Marshall was cute.  Right before his second gulp he said, "I will take another drink so it can go to my brain and make it like this even more!  This is so good."  I consider myself ultra lucky that my kids will devour a green smoothie and never complain that it might look a little weird.  Even beyond that... they love their fruits and vegetables.  Sometimes they will even order broccoli instead of french fries at restaurants.  Crazy weird, isn't it?  Like I said.  I'm so lucky.

Words of Wisdom

I thought it would be fun to share some sweet thoughts from my big boy Marshall.  I read him an email from his Uncle Chase that is serving a mission in Malaysia.  When I was responding (to the email) I asked Marshall if there was anything he wanted to say.  I copied what he told me word for word and have just copied and pasted from my email.  Enjoy.

This photo is from our recent family pictures!!!  There will be more coming soon...

'Marshall says, 

"I really love you and I hope you're here soon. I hope your trips are fun and that you love the things you do. When you get home from your mission we will give you a surprise. I hope you don't get hurt on your mission and I hope you have a good time doing your mission, all your homework, and all the stuff that makes God happy. Well, I hope you have a fun time and I hope you are making friends. And I hope you have a surprise to bring to us when you come home. I hope you have a fun and safe time. I hope God is happy with the things and people you are teaching." 

Now he said he is hoping you write back and say "I will and thank you." He makes me smile.

Marshall just remembered more... 

"I really love you and I hope your plans are good for teaching people all the things you know about God. Can you please make me your favorite and I hope you have a good time. Do the things God tells you in your prayers. Bless the people that don't know about God. Please can you text them and teach more." 

This kid cracks me up. He is watching me "text" this email on my phone... That must be why he wants you to text people. Haha.'

There were some profound thoughts from my little man.  Too cute not to share.

Mother's Day 2011

Colby has always been really good at surprises and I love that about him!  He does a fantastic job of thinking way outside the box which always leaves me speechless.  Perhaps the last little while he's been a little worn out because I have topped his gift giving skills a time or two.  But not this time!  He had me convinced that he had forgotten about Mother's Day but I wasn't too worried since I had recently splurged a little on some new clothes.  I think that all played into the surprise factor when he and the boys showed me this...

You are seeing correctly.  A large, incredible painted portrait of ME!  Like I said, he thinks way outside the box and this was the last thing in the world that I expected.  I was a little overwhelmed looking at a picture that size of myself but I was insanely humbled that someone would take so much time to do that for me.  (HUGE shout out to the ultra talented Brooke Phillips... one of my favorite young women in our ward!  She's a sweet gal and a dear friend.)  Colby asked her a little while back if she would do this for him and I'm so proud of her for taking on the challenge!  Now I just have to figure out where to hang it...

Proud as Punch

I don't want to sound cliche here, but Marshall is getting so big.  It blows my mind every time I turn around and find him doing something else that big boys do.  Honestly, turning three was a big milestone in my book.  Once he turned three I could see his whole life unfold before me and it was crazy!  Today I wanted to document a big first he had.  He's a sunbeam now and is going to Primary with the big kids.  He is one of the ONLY ones his age that sits happily without having to be held by a teacher.  He's so sure of himself and he participates and behaves fairly well.  Today he got to give a talk on the topic, "The scriptures are the word of God."  It was only his second week in Primary and he was cool as a cucumber.  He didn't get nervous at all.

We worked together to write his talk.  I thought about just putting together a pre-written talk with the pictures he could hold up, but I was talking to him about the scriptures to see what I could get him to talk about and he was full of good stuff.  I just started to write down the things he told me and organized them into a talk.  So, no joke, he wrote probably 80% of his talk.  It was really such a delight to hear him share his testimony and love for the scriptures.

He started out by holding up a set of scriptures and said:

"These are scriptures.  They teach us what Heavenly Father wants us to know.  Different people wrote the scriptures.  Those people were prophets.  We can learn about their lives and the lessons they learned.  When we do what they tell us, we make Heavenly Father happy.  We are also happy.  I know the scriptures are true and I know they are God's word.  Reading the scriptures will help me get ready to go on a mission."

He sounded so sweet and I'm so grateful for his example.  He may have been a little bit nervous because when we would practice he would go on without being prompted and he really knew what he was saying.  In sharing time, however, he carefully repeated everything I whispered in his ear but when I would pause at spots he usually said on his own, he just stood there quietly.  I recorded his talk on my ipod because this truly is a treasure to me.  The fact that he came up with so much of it on his own spoke a powerful lesson.  Even at a young age, kids absorb the things of the Spirit and begin to develop a testimony about the truths they are taught.  I think having kids and sharing the scriptures with them has devoted me to scripture study more than anything else ever has.  When we first started reading the scriptures regularly with the boys Marshall got so into it.  It was really only in this last half a year and I could see a definite change in his behavior.  Even Tyler would sit reverently and listen and I regretted waiting so long to study the scriptures with Marshall.  It's never too late though, that's for sure.  It was a powerful moment to me as we discussed what Marshall knew of the scriptures on Saturday afternoon and out of the blue he piped up, "reading the scriptures will help me get ready to go on a mission."  All on his own he could recognize the application of scripture study to his future.  I loved it!!!

It was cute this afternoon as he would share his talk with all the grandparents we visited.  Grandma Stratton (Connie) recorded it on video so we could send it to Chase on his mission in Malaysia.  Marshall recited a lot of it from memory and it really showed his personality.  I loved, as he would say it on his own, how he would keep going confidently with the line "they were prophets."  My favorite thing was the way he said, "... make Heavenly Father happy, also us," instead of using the sentences I had written out.  I'd much rather listen to him say it in his own words too.

I sure love this little kiddo.  I was told by one of the Primary leaders, "Today in primary M was telling me that the topical guide was some sort of part to a saw. Someone told me later he was talking about guide, not topical. He was so cute and sure of his answer. What a doll."  His teacher also told me he gave the most interesting prayer she has ever heard.  His prayers are something to behold as well.  But I've already mentioned that in a previous post, and could devote a whole other post to it in the future.

We're proud of you Marshall.  Very, very proud.

Heaven Sent

I'm so glad I have this treasure.  I happened to be going through a bunch of pictures from last winter and this one caught my attention.  You see, a few weeks ago Grandpa Stratton went into the hospital.  When he was in ICU, Colby and I thought a few pictures of the family would help lift his spirits and hopefully speed up his recovery.  I found all kinds of pictures... but not this one.  Probably a week ago I came across this one and thought, "Wow.  I didn't know I had a picture of just Grandpa and the boys.  I wish I had seen this a couple weeks ago when I made that poster."  

Early Monday morning Grandpa passed away.  We were all a bit surprised and have been slowly getting used to the idea for the last couple of days.  On Monday there was some talk of putting together a slide show of Grandpa's life and I thought, "That picture!"  It was perfect.  A perfect snapshot of a perfect moment found at the perfect time.  So for two days I've scoured my computer for the picture and I could NOT find it for the life of me.  I even started thinking I must have had a dream that I had this picture because it did not exist on my computer.  

How grateful I am that I found it today.  It was one of those tender mercies, you know?  And then I realized I hadn't seen many pictures of Grandpa with Tyler.  Sure enough, this is the one and ONLY picture of Tyler with his Great Grandpa Stratton.  It breaks my heart a little bit to know we didn't take any more.  But how grateful I am for this one.

Grandpa was always so happy and loved his little ones.  We were visiting him in the rehab center the night before he died and he just smiled at our boys as they scurried here and there through his room.  They were being so curious and he was just happy to have them there.  A few days before he told my boys they were the most handsome boys he had.  Of course then he told them that if any of their other boy cousins were there as well, he'd say it to them all.  He always smiled as he reminded me to take care of my boys when we'd leave their house on Sunday evenings.  To be honest, it was rare to see Grandpa without a smile.  He was a great man.  "One of the greatest" as so many people have told me the last few days.  My heart is flooded with so much I'd like to express about our dear Grandpa.  Too much to share here.  I think I need to spend a while with my journal in the next couple of days.

We love you Grandpa.  Can't wait to see you again someday.  Thanks for all you taught us. 

Godspeed

A couple of months ago we all gathered at Colby's parents' house for a greatly anticipated moment. Chase's call had come. The silly boy had already opened it that morning, but had to keep it all a secret until we all got together. The family gathered around and couldn't wait to find out who had "called it." Haha. No one was even close.
We all were, and are, so excited for this new chapter of your life to begin. There has never been a doubt in my mind that your call was truly inspired.
You are such a fun and giving person. You've been taught how to work and how to love. You'll be an incredible blessing to the people of Singapore and Malaysia.
(I'm crying right now harder than I've cried at all these last couple of months.)
I pray for your safety, and I know I'm not the only one.
These next two years will be a time of service and growth for you. You will be an incredible instrument in the Lord's hands. I'm so proud of you for your courage and desire to do what is right. Thank you for being such a great example to your family, especially your nephews. They look up to you so much and this giant example of obedience will leave a lasting impression.
Thank you Chase. I love you. We all do.

2 is still so close to Heaven

I've started to call Marshall the "sweetest little monster you've ever met." He can be so sweet or so scary. Usually sweet, but you know how two year olds are. Well, I want to share a sweet story with you.

The other day we were at my Mother-in-Law's house and Marshall was playing the piano. He would turn the pages of the Children's Song Book, play a little, and narrate the picture he could see. This went on for a little while and Connie and I sat talking and smiling about how cute Marshall was. Suddenly Marshall turned around with his arms folded and said "fold your arms Mom." He wanted to pray. So we took the opportunity to pray for a loved one in real need of support and a helping hand from our Father in Heaven. Once we were done he turned around to play more on the piano. After a few seconds he turned around with his arms folded again. We took the chance to pray for more loved ones. And then the whole thing happened again.

It made me smile from ear to ear to watch my little boy behave in such a reverent manner. I really felt like he was so close to the spirit and knew there were people close to him that needed an extra prayer full of the power that can only come from a sweet soul so close to heaven.

For Tyler

There is nothing more special than the way I "grew" to love you my little one. I truly cherish the fleeting time of feeling so close to my babies and all the anticipation that goes along with pregnancy. Tyler, you were good to me, regardless of what I said those last couple of weeks.

You know how sometimes you have to experience something more than once to really learn the lesson. Well, I think I understand more and more how close to heaven you little babies are when you are fresh into the world each time a child joins our family. You are such a sweet treasure straight from our Heavenly Father. How blessed I am to be entrusted as a mother of you darlings.

You are so loved by so many...

Tyler, you were always so pleasant as a baby. You just went along with whatever was going on. You were my little doll that I dressed up and had long, drawn out photo sessions with.

You were someone to look up to from when you were quite small. Marshall always surprises me with a new way to copy you. There's just something about you that makes us all want to be more sweet, innocent, and tender. Just today you were wimpering and I noticed Marshall wandering the house wimpering just like you.

You pay such close attention to things and try so hard to learn quickly so you can be grown up like the rest of us. You can grow up as slowly as you want to though. I already miss Baby Tyler. All I see now is Growing Tyler.

You definitely have your own look about you too. Sometimes I see Marshall in you, but whenever I have compared pictures, you are your own boy. How wonderful it is to be an individual!

You are such a delight. Such a sweet temperment you have. That is until you spot food. Your always act like you've been starved and grab at whatever food you can get your hands on. I doubt that characteristic will fade - after all, you are a boy. This is a picture from your first meal of "real food." You smiled every bite.

I sure love you little man. Marshall and Daddy love you too.